Thursday, July 04, 2002

covered in bite marks, cuts, bruises, and facial hair modelled on one of george michael's 80's looks, that i don't completely recall being done to me.

to quote beckett, "I must be happy, he said, it is less pleasant than I should have thought."

and to quote dictionary.com, "dolĀ·drums 1. a. A period of stagnation or slump."

i'm watching the ripples in a puddle. they start nowhere in particular, move a little way, then end fairly insignificantly, replaced by similarly unimportant ripples who play out the same pointless game.

almost thinking i should go away for a while. just a little while.

nah. lost interest in that idea already. i really don't want to go anywhere alone.

had a dream about a friend being brutally injured in a most horrible way the other morning. woke up and had the uncontrollable need to know that she was okay. saw her come into the house, then leave soon after. didn't call her into my room to soothe my fears, because i realised it would be selfish. when someone doesn't care that you care, letting them know that you do seems to just burden them with something unnecessary.